It was August 16th. He was due August 5th. The week before I had a membrane sweep I was about 4cm, very stretchy and thinned about 75% effaced. I had so many start and stop contractions that week it became very frustrating feeling on the brink of active labor for so long. I was losing mucous plug for days and feeling so many strong contractions here and there I knew it may come quickly when it did! It was the morning of 41+5. I woke up around 4am feeling an upset stomach and lots of cramping like I had before. I wasn’t convinced at this point as it was nothing new. I got up to use the restroom and saw a significant amount more of bloody show. I laid back down and attempted to rest but I had a couple really uncomfortable contractions (still spaced 10/15 minutes apart from each other) so I decided to get up around 4:30. I texted my photographer (as she was an hour away I was more concerned with her getting here then the midwives ) that I may be giving her a call if these continued, but if she happened to see the text I still wasn’t convinced this was it yet!

She replied right away to keep her updated. But sure enough within the next 10-15 minutes the contractions came stronger and closer to the point there was no more questioning this was it! I called everyone else (midwives and my mom) and woke up my sleeping husband by 5am. I began laboring and setting the scene as I envisioned. Turned on my twinkle lights, played my labor playlist, put on my most comfortable bra and tshirt, held my wooden labor comb, turned on my fan, and settled in. Riley showered and ate some food then began to set up the birth tub so it would be ready when I needed it. I was doing well on my own and didn’t feel I needed him for physical support yet so it was better to get the tub out of the way and ready. The midwives (Louisa and Jen) showed up about 45 minutes later (close to 6 ish) and I was standing in the kitchen with my mini fan right in my face. It was still a rather warm morning and I was starting to warm up too My contractions were every 2-4 minutes lasting about 90 seconds each time.

They got set up and started monitoring where I was at and how I was doing. I was starting to feel the contractions in my back a little so she had me move to my knees leaning over our recliner. I had a friend who had given me a tens unit to borrow and I asked if Louisa could put it on for me. I wasn’t 100% on how to use it but she was familiar enough and we got it on and going! And OH MY. It helped me so much. It took the sharp edge off any contraction sensation in my back and made them totally doable. I didn’t need any hip squeezes with it on. Which I’m sure Riley appreciated My photographer came during that time and I never even noticed until Louisa pointed her out to me! My mother was also there cleaning up a bit and watching for the boys to wake up. Once they did I got to give Elijah (my oldest) a hug and she hung out with them upstairs until baby was born. I settled into a rhythm for the next hour or so in that position on my knees, with my comb and cold wash cloth, and turning up the tens unit every once in a while as things increased in intensity. I cannot emphasize how much it helped. Around 7am ish I had to pee. Which meant moving to the toilet which is such an intense place to be. After I finished up there Louisa asked me if I wanted to get in the water. I was worried about getting in too early as I didn’t want to get in and out and have it slow my labor down. It would also mean I’d have to take off the tens unit, which was currently working really well for me. So we decided to do a cervical check to see where I was at and then decide if I was ready for the water. I was at 7cm and paper thin 100% effaced. A 7 to me sounded like I had a lot more work to do. As In the past I still had many many more hours after a seven. I felt slightly discouraged envisioning being in labor for at least 3-4 more hours.. but my midwife encouraged me that she was very confident in my pattern and to use the water if that’s what I wanted. And boy did I! So I got in. Things picked up pretty much right away. It was probably close to 7:15 now and little did I know he’d be born in about an hour. Still convinced I wasn’t close I took them one at a time

My midwife and Riley took turns with me and speaking sweet nothings into my ear. Making the occasional joke and making me feel so loved and safe. I gripped my comb (which really did help) and held a cold wash cloth to my chest/face and it was so soothing. I had my worship music on blast and sang on occasion. Close to 8:00am my bag of water was in the back of my mind. With my first VBAC I had a bulging bag of water that really held me up for a while. I came out of a contraction and asked mine to be broken.

I didn’t even know if I had a bulging bag (I didn’t) but I knew I wanted to not be worried about it. She broke it, but as there was no water in front of his head it didn’t feel like much. She told me my cervix was barely there and to trust my body these next few surges for an urge to push. I literally still didn’t believe I was that close. I still thought I had forever. I remember having a rather longer break (nothing crazy, like maybe 6 minutes) between my next contraction and wondered if this was my rest before pushing. On my next one Louisa encouraged me to give a little push and see what it felt like. I felt a little pressure at the peak but knew I wasn’t quite there yet. In the next one I had an overwhelming dry heave into the emesis bag and felt instantly a gush of water and baby move down. I knew my cervix was gone at that point. Sure enough the next contraction I was pushing!

I was so so so grateful this was almost done. I felt his head in my hand in one good push. I was up on my knees. His crowning however was slower. A good two or three contractions. It was the most intense 5 minutes. He was being born into my hand and I held onto Jen for every fiber of support when I wanted to fly out of my body. His head was finally born and I asked to recline so I could catch him in the water, which is what I wanted! Unfortunately though he started to turtle back a little and seemed to be stuck on his shoulder a bit. They moved me quickly out of the tub into a runners lunge on the ground. I prayed aloud “Jesus help my baby come out” I wasn’t afraid and felt calm. I knew he would come, and we were just fine. I felt Louisa adjust his body and I felt him come free. Best relief of my life. She passed him directly to me under my leg. He was bright pink and screaming his little lungs out. Best sight and sound there ever could be. I immediately told Riley to go get the boys and they came down to meet him before I had even moved or my placenta was born. Absolutely precious few minutes. I went to the bed for the placenta. Had a little active bleeding so I got a shot of Pitocin in the leg but did great after that. We laid in our bed dreamily snuggling our newborn. He latched beautifully and did so well. He was 9lbs and 22inches. I didn’t get a single tear or scratch and recovery was so smooth. It was by far the best labor and birth experience and I am so thankful we have photos of it I felt so trusted and safe through the entire experience. Birth is never easy but this is the first time I didn’t have some sort of trauma processing afterward. Elijah was long and ended in a cesarean without Riley there. Jude’s was just long and hard and while I was so proud of my VBAC I still dealt with a lot of fear and exhaustion after such a long active labor phase. This time- while still hard all I felt was pure confidence from the people around me, and to experience such a smooth labor experience was so healing to me. My body can in fact do this, and do this well.